Disappointment
sucks. It almost feels like bumping your elbow on a table or something. Man,
those moments hurt. I think the best way to shield yourself from the sad music,
tantrums and the tears is to forget about being too expectant in the first
place. Call it being blessed if the universe somehow shifts in your favour, but
for the rest of us, the key is not to be overly positive. Keep it neutral.
I
remembered how I wanted a new phone so bad in high school because I didn’t
really ask for much stuff and that day, I decided to take the plunge. The phone
I wanted wasn’t that expensive and it definitely wasn’t the ‘in’ thing either
but you know, sometimes upgrades are necessary. I figured flip phones were
becoming outdated so yeah, I needed a change. My leverage was apparently the
report results. “Look, Mommy, I’m doing so well in school! Don’t I deserve that
phone?” I don’t know who said a couple of A’s, B’s, C’s on the report card equaled
gifts galore, but I guessed that’s just how it worked.
I
was quite the dreamer back then - keeping MTC booklets and flipping through the
different choices of phones, going on too much about it to my friends,
daydreaming in class… Days and days would pass: “Mommy, Daddy, the phone?”
“Wait until the money comes.” and I would wait and wait and wait and wait some
more to the point that I thought ‘the money’ was walking from America all the
way to Namibia. Seconds felt like days, days felt like months… and with each
tick I heard from the clock, I fell deeper into my own reserved world. The
animated Mickey disappeared, her laughs were rare and she never said a word
about the phone again. All you would hear were one word or one sentence
replies.
Everyone
noticed the deep dark change and they actually got scared. ‘Is she depressed?’
they would ask, but no. The fact was that it was my first time truly dealing
with disappointment and understanding why. As a kid, I mean, not getting a
Barbie doll dress meant crying and forgetting about it the next day. But as a
more matured human being, the emotions stuck like glue. Oh, how they stuck like
glue. *Sigh*
Eventually
the universe came around for me but the period in-between was horrible. Point
is, waiting sucks. So we should all just chill, act cool if you get what you
want, act cool and play it off if you don’t but forget about bragging to any of
your friends coz that will just make things worse.
And
that’s how we it do it.
Mickey
B*
